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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

am i thinking too much or things really changes ?
afterall , i could only SIGH .

ever since that day , i felt something not right .
i knew its my fault for thinking too much .
i am sorry .
i am having fear . i dont have the courage to tell you verbally . thus i am typing it over here .
i dont want it to affect our relationship .
i am sorry . let the past be bygone ba .

i realised i am just too fragile to take it .
sigh .

Blogged @ 2:54 PM
Don't let me go -

Monday, April 28, 2008

just a simple post before i heading to work.

who is the girl i see staring straight back at me?
why is my reflection someone i dont know?
its just another side of me ;
when will my reflection show who i am inside?
a big big SIGH .

these few days were tormentating.
many things went through my mind.
i just cant stop myself from thinking of it. yeap i admit i am thinking too much. sigh. i just cant prevent myself not to. there is always things that happen for me to think that much if not i wouldnt be that.

have been working everyday these few days. frankly i am not focusing at times but i still tried my best. its hard for me to put on a jubilant front when i am in such situation. feigning ignorance to everything else and acting nonchalant about all. when deep inside my heart, i am just feeling so hurt and sad. totally smashed. sigh. i am breaking down any time. i tried to control but i failed. perhaps i am just a failure and a bad girl ?

i am sorry for thinking extremely much these few days. sigh. i just dont know who i am. i am just pretending i am happy but i am not. its not easy to. all i need is hoping you will be there for me always. i knew with you around, i fear nothing. i may feel better afterall. you might not know why i am feeling this way now. i just dont know how to voice it out. i am just lost in all directions. sigh. baby ; seriously i am not alright ! will you be there to be my guardian angel to accompany me through this path. i wish for.

i MISS you badly ;

Blogged @ 6:45 AM
Don't let me go -

Thursday, April 24, 2008

for i'm here without you ;
you will always be in my heart .
baby ; i NEED you .

i knew i have neglected my blog for a long time. have been pretty busy these few weeks or i could say ever since i graduated. have been working and working. i get all exhausted at the end of the day. perhaps thats also the choice for me to numb myself. using work to torture myself as well to earn some saving for my future use.

today is my rest day thus i am sitting down infront of the com to update my blog. thanks for those who take your time to click on to my blog at times. do feel free to drop a tag when you entered. i appreciate it.

it had been one month plus since i graduated. some of my friends had already started schooling in poly, some attending private, some working full time, some still cant make any decision. well, all the best to everyone down the path, hope you guys have some ideas and plan ahead for your future. as for me, i still stick on to my part time job which i had been working for nearly three years. time flies. many people have been asking why dont i find a full time job. reason is simple. i dont wish to get tie down at the moment, as i plan to further study later on for my private diploma. though there might be problems and unhappiness at work, well, for the sake of money i still got to endure. however, there is also happy moments too. doing stupid things together with friends, making a fool out of everything. well. i learnt a lot throughout the path in this job. be it good or bad. thus, knowing too much arent good at times.

friendship takes two hands to clap. one cant clap on its own. sometimes making the first move at time can be tiring cause the other parties dont seems to care or bother. actions speak louder than words. there might me downs or misunderstanding at times, nothing is impossible to solve when they are really friends. friends come and go. only true ones will stay. there could be situation, out of sudden, ones can be back to square. stranger? things that will be kept always was, thanks for all the memories and everything. lastly, i thanks for the few who are always there to standby me.

its always hard to open that door when you hestitate upon what you are going for. there always seems to be a river to cross and a mountain to climb and one starts to wonder, how many more dark night lie ahead? afterall i still love you ; baby. i miss our past.

P.S ; slowly think through your plan. dont give up. i will always be behind you to give you support and advice. nothing is impossible. all it need is time.

only you can brighten me up.
indispenable ;
123 days.

Blogged @ 9:30 AM
Don't let me go -

Sunday, April 13, 2008

sigh. sometimes i really wish i could just sleep peacefully without waking up.
at this wee hours, i am feeling extremely not in the right condition.
all i need is just you showing your care and concern.

baby ; it just hurts with one sentence.
it had been sometimes since i drop my tears again.
its just so sour. sense of jealousy. sigh.

i wish i could just end my life one day.

GONE-

Blogged @ 2:45 PM
Don't let me go -