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Monday, July 7, 2008

once again, i am back to the one whom i dont know who i am. hardly can see me smile. i just force myself to smile. its so hard. i could just break down before i turn in these few night. i swear, its really so pain. sigh.
i always hide behind the mask. i know i am not good enough for you. thus you chose to apart. perhaps i am not pretty too. all these flows in my mind. why. its seems i can only blame myself. nothing else.
reminisce the moment of this time during last year, it was the sweet and memorable moment we are going through. everyday you never failed to make me brighten up my day. calling me as your baby. over the phone for hours despite you are tired. delication over the radio forecast daily. i really miss those days. perhaps it will never be back again. all these memories are precious. whenever i think of those times, my tears can just flow. i would chose to end my life uncertainly. i knew its silly to do so. everyone who care for me, you? my dear friends, especially my mother would be in pain if i apart the world.
i dont want to disappoint any of you but at times i really feel so useless. nothing else really that matters anymore. to me you are really important. but is sad to say i got to face reality that it wont be the same anymore. it really hurts.
sometimes i just dont know how to describe my feelings. its just heart breaking.

sigh. i miss you.

Blogged @ 11:59 PM
Don't let me go -